time magazine cover

The cover of the latest Time magazine illustrates a story about 72-year-old pediatrician Dr. William Sears with a photo of a nearly 4-year-old boy standing and suckling at the breast of his 26-year-old mother. Headline: "Are you mom enough?"

I had a really difficult time writing a title for this post because I don’t really want to talk about attachment parenting or older child breastfeeding. I think it’s a big world, and people should find what works for them. And having not been able to breastfeed, I don’t know enough about nutrition and older child breastfeeding to form any judgment. (And that is a hint that I also don’t want to hear since I will never have a use for this information.)

I don’t use the twins’ image because I don’t know how they’ll feel about their image being used, and they’re not at an age where I can ask and receive a thoughtful answer. They may be totally fine with it, or they may be upset to read what someone writes about their image. And without knowing, I don’t feel comfortable proceeding. It’s the same ideology I bring to writing about them: I don’t write about anything I wouldn’t say in front of their friends in this moment. Therefore, you will never hear about medical issues or milestones not met or anything they may not want the world to know. You will hear about how they process the idea of evolution or the ChickieNob’s love of the Beastie Boys because that is what they are talking about with their friends right now. Low stakes stuff; that’s what you’re going to find in regards to parenting since I don’t always feel like it’s my story to tell.

A few years ago, I was featured in a New York Times article. I never wrote about it here because… well… there was a reason why I only used my first name for the article. After we had done the interview and such, the author of the article told me that they were sending a photographer to my house to take a picture of myself with the twins. Uh… no. I emailed with the photographer explaining that while I was fine being photographed in a public spot because I knew the repercussions of putting myself out there, I couldn’t make that decision for the twins, not knowing how they’d feel in the future about having been featured. I don’t think the photographer could fathom my stance on this because she kept emailing me about needing the twins in the photo, and I finally had to say that I was very comfortable not being part of the article at all, but not comfortable putting the twins in there. The story ultimately was run with the image of a different person interviewed for the same article.